Hope

A seed floating in the wind with no direction
Slowly fading away, it has no protection
Lands on the bank but sees no reflection
A choice must be made, life's intersection

Grow into a tree or fade into the past
Soar like an eagle, this spring may be it's last
A decision must be made before the dead of night
Is it time to lie down and die, or is it time to fight

It made the right choice and decided to grow
But wasn't its choice to make, of this it did not know
Already determined the seed would never be a tree
It dreams of a better life but hope is all it will ever be

This place "sucks"

Today my parents are vacuuming the entire house. Turns out they have more than one vacuum! The amount of suction going on above my head while I lay restless in the basement is frightening. I can hear dustmites screaming for help, and oh no, here comes the rug doctor. I'll throw the funeral right after my pity party.

Let's talk about Joplin, Missouri for a brief second.
It's like a smelly kid in class holding the door open for you. It's a nice thought, but you just want to get through as fast as possible.
That's where I am, and it's where most of my friends are not.
It's where my ex is.
Where I don't want to be.
I'm not even going to bring up meth...

But life has been blessed!
I love the ups and downs I face, they keep me challenged and hopeful.
I'm thankful for the friends I do still have, and my newfound joy for blueberry bagels.

Joplin-I love you, but you beat kittens.

Be On Your Guard

Last night I had a dream that I was being chased around town by all sorts of fearful figures, and at some point a voice said "be on your guard against the enemy," later in the dream I met a lovely girl who said her name was Satan, and even though that name worried me, she was welcoming and beautiful. She looked trusting, but offered me a drink that she had put something in, and it made me afraid and refused to take it. Ha it was really something else. I woke up and found this-Peter 5:8-9.

An attitude of gratitude

I'm so blessed to know that more people are following me on twitter! I have enough oddities to write about in my daily life to keep my friends posted. I thank you, stalkers :)

May God Be Your Broom

Do you know that feeling you have right after you accidentally step on a piece of chex mix or a piece of cereal on the floor?
That feeling you get for a split second of misery-that you've just made a huge mistake?
But after that you realize that things are ok, because its just a cheerio and can be cleaned up.
Yeah I just did that.
It made me think about life.
And how I think about it way too deep sometimes.
Somehow, that's me.
That's you.
That's us.
That broken piece of cereal is our mistakes, our flaws, and it's nothing that can't be cleaned up.
I've been enlightened.
It's funny how God can talk to us through such simple things.
I also know that I'm not God!
Therefore, I'll leave the mess for one of the roommates.
I hope that doesn't make them feel CRUMMY!



May God be your broom.
-andypants

Track 4: Words

Words, oh words,
Please pull me under,
and fill my lungs with all your wonder.
Raise my voice,
to sing it louder,
that we be not alone, but everlasting.
-andyhaut

I left Joplin in August in search for myself, and I've seemed to have found too much of just that.

Me.

All I've been is me. I get too caught up in what I ought to be, or what I think others want of me; I beat myself up about it.
Feelings rushed my heart the first month I lived here in Springfield. Feelings of anxiety and stress, but at the same time wonder and excitement.
...my thoughts were quite tragic sometimes though.
My heart misguided by earthly desire, and envy of the successful.

I couldn't see God, because I've been in the way.

As for love:
And how do I seek a girl?
I know not how to walk by faith, or by sight,
For that alone is up to faith.
Timing is the distraction.
Oh love, you pull at my heart.
Do you guide me to what is right?
Who's to be the judge?
Are words enough to guide me?
If such is true, let me not fall short of their meaning.
May they submerge me and fill my lungs with their light.
May such a God-given gift overflow within my heart,
and let me then pursue such love, but only then.
-andyhaut

Timing is everything, but means nothing.
It holds urgency, but not destruction.

When love beckons, what are we to do?
Rush in blindly, or be guided by patience?

Oh, love, you light up the night, just like the moon.
and though sometimes I only get a sliver of you,
I'm hoping for a full moon soon.

Be true, be you, do what you do,
I have to poo.
-andy

What value does love hold if it isn't shared?

Dear Spring,

I've been limited.
My roots held with ice,
As of gloves, coats, blankets...
I've asked of warmth of these.
But I'd forsake them all for your sweet kiss.
You dream of dewdrops,
You sing of orchids white,
You breathe.
You sweep wind of new life unto the Earth as fireflies in the garden of Autumn.
You bring the beggars of the city a sigh of relief.
Of Hope.
Oh, please bring us joy in the morning finch.
And of the flowers bring us growth,
And of the growth bring us height enough to reach our Father's stars,
So that we may desire, ask, believe, receive.
Dearly beloved, may we be free.
From the shackles of language,
May we be free.
From our dimly lit path of such vision we seek,
May we be free.
From the crust of our knowledge of measurable time,
May we be free.
For your sweet release is more precious than jewels.
May we be free.
-andyhaut

Just a thought.

Look at the clouds as they roll; as they cry for us.
Look at the stars as they glorify their creator.
...as they guide us through the night, they shine for us.
Look at the trees of the forests.
..they grow mighty and free for us.
Look to the sunlight as it pours upon the Earth.
Is it not but a most beautiful source?
Oh, and how great it is to witness the most beautiful dance in creation,
As the moon dances among the stars!!
These are few of what keep me strong.
What's a little financial trouble here and there?
What's a little pain and heartache?
Is it not all worth the gift of birth?
:)

We are here.
Now.
How beautiful is this place?
Are we not SO blessed?
We inhabit the earth
God's earth.
So here we are, on such sacred ground.

Let us not be afraid to open our hearts.
To share our love.
For what value does love hold if it isn't shared?

Just a thought.
Your friend, Andy.